For some unknown reason, there’s a lot of needless drama and posturing in the paranormal investigation community. Paul & I believe there’s no room or need for any of it, and if we have to be hermits to get away — and stay away — from it, we will. Why? Because all of that senseless garbage detracts from what *should* be the main mission of those working in the paranormal community.
All individuals and groups should ultimately be working for the same goals. People get into investigating the paranormal for a variety of reasons, but none of those reasons should have to do with wanting to get famous or causing drama with other individuals and/or groups. To do so shows a lack of character and a lack of maturity.
A colleague of mine and Paul’s recently wrote me about people who are so unpleasant that they make others want to get out of paranormal investigation all together. I think that’s a shame that anyone feels they are the verge of quitting or being forced out because of other people’s less-than-savory behavior. My response to this person (who shall remain anonymous) is below. Since the first writing, I’ve added a couple things to the original draft. For the most part, though, the majority appears how it was written the first time around:
You should never allow anyone or anything to get in the way of something that’s your passion and that you enjoy so much. If you stop, they win — period. This is why Paul and I mainly keep to ourselves when it comes to people in the paranormal field. We got into it to investigate claims of the paranormal and to assist clients — period. Other people’s drama and issues only detract from our main goals; therefore, when that happens, we seek to remove ourselves or distance ourselves from those issues/drama or people involved. Sometimes we have been fortunate in that those people have removed themselves of their own accord, to which I say, “Bonus!”
People are people: some are honest, some are not. Some want to be happy, some don’t. Some are envious, some aren’t. Some play well with others, some don’t. In the end, bad behavior and drama always gets in the way of the mission for the greater good and why Paul and I got into paranormal investigation.
I didn’t get into it when it was a ‘fad.’ I began studying and reading about this stuff when I was nine or ten years old. I didn’t get into it to catch the wave of TAPS or any of the other well-known shows on television. I didn’t get into it to become famous or well known, and the only recognition I want for C.S.P.A. is to the extent that people know we are in the community and available to assist them, should they need it. I want them to know C.S.P.A. has been around since 2005 and our main focus and mission has never changed since then.
Finally, nobody will dissuade or push me or Paul out of what we’re doing unless we ourselves decide to take a break or step away. Everyone can leave and if the two of us are still standing, *we* are the heart of C.S.P.A., and we decide what happens next — nobody else in the paranormal community. We didn’t ask for their permission or beg for their good favor to begin C.S.P.A. and continue with it, and we won’t do that now or ever.
The point here is that one should never let anyone dissuade or drive you from your passion and reasons for being. I am a survivor and a fighter, and you should be too if you want to keep what you’re fighting for — regardless of who or what crosses your path. One must be a warrior inside and have enough tenacity in one’s soul that nothing or nobody will keep you from your goals. If they step in front of you, move around them. If the road becomes impassable, start a new path around it. Above all, only you determine when it’s time to retire and move on to something else — let nobody else determine that decision save for yourself.
Nobody gets to run your life or tell you how to live it. Other people’s permission is NOT required for living one’s life and following one’s passions. Anyone who tells me what to do or how to live will get a rude awakening, because I will simply tell them it’s none of their business and that I make my own decisions, whether they approve of them or not. If they don’t like it, then perhaps they need to find their own path and make their own decisions to move forward in the way they prefer. But they don’t get to push me around or dictate how I handle life and the pursuits I enjoy.
In writing, my readers, agent and editor get to have a say in the work I do. Likewise, in paranormal investigation, it’s the situations of the clients and my partner, Paul, who influence how I proceed. Nobody else — NOBODY — gets to dictate final decisions for me. People can suggest or cajole, but in the end, it’s what *I* decide based on the previous two factors of influence.
Having said all of that, the point is that YOU also determine all of those same things. And if people don’t like it, then that’s THEIR problem, NOT yours.
Here is the bottom line: Paul is 40 and I’m 45; we’re not middle schoolers. This isn’t a playground and it’s not a contest or competition. Our directives are twofold: we are here to investigate claims of the paranormal and to assist clients in whatever way we feel we can assist them. Personality conflicts and likes/dislikes are shoved to the side when it comes to C.S.P.A. and investigating.
When you walk in the door of a client’s home or business, your main focus should be doing what you’re there for — not grousing, not bitching, not moaning about this, that or the other. You’re there to do a job, plain and simple. If you can’t keep interpersonal conflict and personality differences out of the situation, then you don’t need to be involved.
The client DOES NOT CARE who you do or don’t like or what you do or don’t like. The client DOES NOT CARE if you don’t like person X’s tone of voice or personality. The client is interested in ONE thing: how can C.S.P.A. help them understand what’s going on in their home and/or business — period. Everything else is irrelevant.
Therefore, drama is not welcome and will not be tolerated in our group. We owe that to our clients. Members who join our group are now given a list — in writing — of behavioral expectations for members of C.S.P.A. Other groups may tolerate drama and in-fighting, but we have neither the time or the energy for either. We take our mission seriously, and we expect members to do likewise. We’ve seen what can happen when you allow negativity and drama to go unchecked, and we refuse to allow weeds to grow in our garden. We’ve worked too hard on this garden to allow toxic influences to overrun it.
I challenge all individuals and groups in the paranormal investigation community to step up and move toward lessening the drama that’s so prevalent in the field. It’s only hurting the field, not helping it. We should never allow petty issues with the living to get in the way of investigating, researching and understanding the paranormal.
Never allow anyone — or anything — to rob you of the pursuit of your passions or your interests. You may not be able to control other people, but you can control yourself and who you allow in your sphere of influence. Removing toxic, harmful influences from your life and cutting the stalk off at the knees before it goes any further is the best thing you can do in order to preserve your sanity and protect your projects.
If you’re lucky, the drama queens and kings will remove themselves voluntarily; most of the time, however, you have to build a wall and/or moat to keep the psychic vampires out. The less energy you give to them, the more you have to pursue goals that are more worthwhile. And in this case, ANY goal you have in life will be more worthwhile!